Friday, June 27, 2003
Life is not easy. For some people, it's a constant battle of self-acceptance. For others, it's an ongoing attempt to gain recognition from people in their lives. This weekend a group of college friends are getting together to remember a friend of ours who took his life in March. His life was full of drama. He always seemed to have something troubling him. He disowned his family and may have felt like a failure for not reaching his professional and personal goals. He must have been in a lot of pain and could not deal. I miss him. I hope he is in a better place. There are those who live day by day, complacent with what ever life brings. No ambition, no goals. There are those who feel life owes them something. I don't understand them, for life is truly what you make it. And finally, there are those how feel they have to constantly improve themselves, not for the sake of betterment, but because they feel defected in some way, like they are not enough. No one of course is perfect. But accepting oneself, flaws, limitations and all, is not the easiest thing to do for some people. So much energy is lost in this personal struggle. So much mental effort wasted. What causes one person to feel good about their overall lives and what causes others to feel less than? Family upbringing? Societal pressures? Self perception? Chemical imbalances? I don't claim to know. I have my own challenges and demons to deal with. But I'm a good person overall and don't feel like I need fixing. I make the best out of what life brings. Everything happens for a reason, there are no coincidences and you can always find the silver lining in all short comings in life. I know my time on this Earth is limited and I hope to live life learning more about myself and connecting with the higher power of the universe. I am a strong person, thanks to everything I have faced in my lifetime. If my life was to end tomorrow, I had a good one. I hope I can continue to live a good life, and be an example for those who find life to be a constant struggle.