Born Again Catholic - Returning to the Religion of My Youth After a 40-Year Absence

When I look back at my life, it's clear to me that I was not a seriously religious person. At one time early on, I questioned the very existence of God. I was born Catholic but did not practice Catholicism. My family believed in God, anchored into the faith by my grandmothers, but we did not go to Mass every Sunday. We were church-going Catholics at least twice a year, during Easter and Christmas, and whenever one of our relatives passed away. 

 

I was baptized in the Catholic Church at the "old age" of nine mainly because my aunt asked my mom why I was not baptized. My aunt became my Godmother and I then started learning about Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church. When I was 13 years old, I attended Sunday school for a few months and eventually received my First Holy Communion. When it came time for the next logical step, my confirmation, I decided not to proceed with the sacrament because I thought with all the evil in the world, there could not be a God. 

I was agnostic throughout my late teens and twenties. I could not commit to being an atheist, but I was not entirely sold on believing in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost either.  I was spiritually lost for most of my thirties, struggling to find myself while escaping with drugs and alcohol. In my forties, I connected with a yearning for a higher power. I began my search for enlightenment by taking several spiritual paths, exploring Buddhism, Wicca, the Kabbalah, and mindful meditation.

Simultaneously, I continued to depend on legal and illegal substances to fill an emptiness in my soul. Eventually, thanks to a force greater than myself, I became sober in my fifties. Once I got the proverbial monkey off my back with the help of a therapist and a recovery program, I gained clarity and the courage to face and deal with my inner demons. I finally began to truly know myself.  

During this difficult transformative time, I sensed I was not alone. I felt a pull toward more meaning and purpose, examining the bigger questions of life like "Who am I?" and "Why am I here?" I started to review the reason why religion was not a huge part of my world, or more so, why I did not naturally gravitate to it. 

Concurrently the study of genealogy has become a hobby of mine in recent years, highlighting the fact that Christianity was of great importance to my ancestors. My career trajectory also led me to a nonprofit organization linked to the Catholic Church. The signs were coming together for me at that time in my life to reassess my relationship with God and religion.  

I thought if I was going to devote myself to theology again in earnest, I would go back to the beginning by revisiting the religion I was born into and the one where I had already received two sacraments. After some introspection, I decided to finish what I had started and enrolled in a Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) program at my local Catholic church. 

After seven months of catechism classes, I was blessed with the Sacrament of Confirmation and added Vicente to my name. I am now a practicing Catholic and I sometimes still cannot believe it. I consider myself a born-again Catholic, experiencing a homecoming of sorts. About five years ago, if you had told me this was going to be the case, I would have called you crazy. 

Everything is meant to be what it is. This challenging journey was always going to be mine. I am full of faith these days and I am grateful for all of my blessings in life. I now live every day looking at ways to be of service. I know firsthand that a spiritual and religious conversion can happen to anyone open to the possibility.  

Obituary - Lydia Gomez y Ruiz de Lopez - 1949 to 2022

On Saturday, September 17, 2022, the family and friends of Lydia Gomez y Ruiz de Lopez held a Celebration of Life Service at Hess-Miller Funeral Home in Middle Village, Queens to pay tribute to a life well lived with love and laughter. Lydia Gomez Lopez passed away from cardiac complications on Thursday morning, September 8, 2022, at Jamaica Hospital Medical Center. She was 73 years old. 

Lydia Gomez Ruiz was born on February 24, 1949, in Mayaguez, Puerto Rico to Carmen Maria Ruiz y Santiago and Jose Soler Gomez. Lydia was the second of 17 children born to Carmen Ruiz. Lydia's family moved from Puerto Rico to New York in the early 1950s. She lived in Brooklyn where she attended Clara Barton High School. Later in life, Lydia lived in the Bronx, and Ridgewood, Queens before moving to Puerto Rico. She returned to New York to live in Spanish Harlem for a time before moving back to Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico. 

Lydia worked for and retired from the New York City Board of Education where she held the position of a paraprofessional. She is survived by her husband Hector Lopez, four children from two previous relationships, six grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. Her family and friends will miss Lydia immensely. May she rest in eternal peace. 

Family is Forever

No matter if you like it or not, family is forever. I have been blessed with a gigantic family but unfortunately I know some much better than others. Throughout my life there have been precious moments shared with family members that I will remember forever and I look forward to future events. Unfortunately, because of its size, I may really never know each member as well as I would like. However thanks to Facebook, I do get a glimpse into their lives and can keep up with the highlights and let them know I'm there in spirit during the low points of life.

I know how fortunate I am in regards to my connectivity with family. I have met people in my life that have either been disowned by their family or have made the difficult decision to cut themselves off. I always find that decision, either way, sad. The fact of the matter is that some people are close to their families, and others are not. Those who do not have close family ties create deep friendships that are like family and that's wonderful. For me in the end, there is no true substitute for family.

I rarely have long lasting fights or arguments with family because life is way too short for stuff like that. Recently I witnessed, via Facebook, some family drama that led some to "unfriend" each other. Things like this just break my heart. As I get older I notice my family, overall, pulling further and further away from each other. I can definitely make more of an effort to reach out however as the years go by, less and less of us get together to share those special moments.

I get a little morbid with my siblings when we fight. I say to them we will bury each other so we really need to get over what ever the issue. To me family is forever and you just can't "unfamily" someone. Family has to stick together, especially during difficult times. So whatever the problem is or was, find the space in your heart to forgive. I am not a religious person but I know God would want me to forgive, and mainly for myself.

Being Thankful

Sometimes I complain about what I don't have, or what I might have missed out in life. But I should really be thankful for just being here today. I'm truly thankful for a blessed life. It really has been a good one, and continues to be. When I have a bad day, I think about those in my life that are no longer here. Sometimes I feel a little guilty and wonder, why them and not me? But there is a greater plan in place and I have to believe that. Recently, a community leader passed away unexpectedly. He was 35 years old. I did not know him very well, though I had met him twice. He was full of life and really made an impact. Even though we were not close, his passing was a shock to me. I found myself Googling him and his work. All things considered, he was a relatively healthy and strong young man. Then one day he is gone from this world. Just another example that we all need to take life by the horns and ride it until we die. So this Thanksgiving eve, I am thankful for being here, for having a wonderful life thus far, for my family, friends, and fraternity. I have been very fortunate. Peace and love to all, and to all I wish a good Thanksgiving night.

Spiritual Goals for 2012

This past year has been a tough one, but it is ending on a brighter note. I realized that I have not been much in touch with my spiritual side. I pretty much put it on hold. I've noticed the lack of spirit in my life overall. It wasn't a good place to be in and I hope I never again leave my spirit behind.

This coming 2012 I plan to be connected more frequently, if not everyday, to my spiritual side. I know it's always there, but sometimes I let other things get in the way of the awareness. In 2012 I will finally master meditation. It's something that I never really got the hang of but I need to really get it down. I'll try slowly and hope by the end of the year to be a full zen master (not really, but it's something to aspire to.) I also hope to seriously begin doing yoga. I've tried it several times but never stuck with it.

Life is too short for hangups and I am over hanging on to a few things that I thought I dealt with long ago. But 2011 has shown me that some things just keep coming back. It's time for a spiritual spring cleaning and I look forward to the many changes that lie ahead.

Hang In There

The economy has a lot of people full with fear and frustration. The country's financial uncertainty has many, including myself, wondering what the future holds. Sometimes this crazy climate pulls me down and makes me feel like giving up hope. But I hang in there.

Some friends are going through the same thing, and I know of an entire online community that shares their hopes and dreams and lean on each other for support during these turbulent times. We can all relate to our individual struggles and I know touching base and sharing our experiences help us hang in there.

The stock market has been flying up and down like a raging rollercoaster out of control. Sometimes my emotions feel the same way, but I find ways try to keep them in check. I hang in there.

Sometimes I do feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. Sometimes I do feel like becoming reclusive, hiding out like a hermit, but I continue to show up for life. I keep on trying, keep on holding on to hope, keep on wishing for the best, and keep on making moves.

I have to keep on hanging in there because the alternative is just not an option.

So no matter how tough it all gets, hang in there.

Life Goes On

I have not posted to this blog in over a year. I have been concentrating on my "real work" but it's time to get back to posting some spiritual thoughts. Life is just crazy right now and I am at a lost for some answers. But no matter how much I worry, or feel uncertain, or fear the unknown, life goes on. It doesn't stop for anyone or anything. There is no pause button. I have to adapt to the changes, the ups and downs, like everyone else. Maybe this is the new normal all around. The economy is in the tank, job prospects are limited, friends continue to come and go, and family passes on. It's all part of life, and it goes on. Times like this is when religious people pray and ask God, the universe, the powers that be, for answers. I do the same, but I also write. The process makes me feel better and think clearer. No matter what happens in my life, the good and the bad, I need to keep it all together and keep trekking on.

Asking for What You Want

The universe wants to give you good things. That's what we must all believe. I truly think we bring good and bad things into our lives. The goal is to try to focus on only asking for what we want as oppose to what we don't want. So the question becomes what do you want? Once you take the time to really decide what it is that you really want, then one must ask for it. Ask, as it is said, and you shall receive. God, the universe, the powers that be, will work to give you what you want. It is OK to ask for what you want. You deserve it. After many years of getting what I wanted, and changing from time to time, what that want was, I now need to look at the bigger picture at this time in my life and make another choice. What is it that I really want at this present time in my life? The picture is getting clearer and more importantly, I am finally starting to really believe that I will always get what I ask for. So, what do you really want? Got it? Now ask the universe for it, and see it come to you.

Letting Go

Sometimes, no matter what you want or try, some things are just meant to be what they are. Acceptance. Faith. Letting go of what you cannot control. Everything does seem to fall into place. Awareness is key and motivation. Learn what you can during the process of just letting go and letting God, in a spiritual sense. Go with the good energy. The path is sure to present itself. The tricky part is making the decision; now or later; yes or no; right or left; ... etc. But in the end, just like healthcare reform, you have to make a decision. Make your choice and let go, and see where it all leads.

Having Faith

Sometimes you don't know what direction life has in store for you. Sometimes the future looks uncertain and hope runs dry. No matter how difficult the journey may be, one must hold steady and continue on. Keep showing up for life and before you know it a path becomes clear. Patience is important during life's low points. You think you may be ready for the next step, but maybe you need to learn more about yourself before you're able to take that step. Have faith that in the end every thing will work out just the way it's suppose to. Always believe that you are just where you need to be at the time you're there. Later it will all make sense. Having faith is a part of life. You just have to believe.

Being Grateful

As 2009 comes to an end I reflect on the highs and lows of the year. It was one of great change, both personally and professionally. Personally, I learned to accept things much more for what they are while also accepting my strengths and limitations. Professionally, I learned that sometimes taking career detours do not always work out. In any case, I still hold on to my basic principle in life that everything happens for a reason. I may not know what the reason is at the time but I am certain that it will reveal itself eventually. Life is good, overall. As 2010 rolls in I am very fortunate to have a huge loving family, wonderful long-time friends, and membership in a very culturally diverse fraternity. I learned a great deal about myself this past year and will continue to grow, both personally and spiritually, in the coming year. Learning, about the world and yourself, is a life-long journey. Life in the end is really about the journey, so I intend to continue to live it to its fullest. I am truly grateful for everything I have and wish everyone a prosperous New Year. All the best.

Living Life

Don't hold grudges. Let people be. Don't make stories up in your head. Things are not always what they seem. Accept people for who they are. Don't try to change them. Treat people well. Be generous of your soul. Do what you love. Acknowledge beauty. Seek wisdom. Enjoy peace. Listen to the silence. Be in the moment. Hear your heart. Speak your voice. See.

Taking a Break

Sometimes you just need to take a break. Though I have had a lot of free time on my hands, I have tried to keep busy with various volunteer activities. I have stepped back my fraternity and political involvement recently. Politics is really tough work and I found myself doing things I really disliked, such as cold calling and knocking on strangers' doors. It is part of the political world but not really mine. I feel like I have lost myself in my various extra curricular activities and need to re-focus on what I want right now in life. I have felt like I was being pulled all over the place and concentrating on goals that were not my own. I have decided to take some time to myself to really look at what I need to do for me. I am always there for other people and not always there for myself. That has to change. The bigger and more complicated question is "What do I want?" The problem is that I want so much and for a lifetime have tried several things at a time and have not really focused on one particular objective. That, to be honest, has not worked out so well. So, time to get my personal act together and focus on what I want by looking at where I can be of most help. There is a great deal I can offer to a group or organization and I need to take the time to seriously finally figure it all out.

Ted Kennedy

It is an end of a era. Rest in peace, Ted Kennedy. This weekend he was memorialized all over the Sunday morning news shows. His life and character were grand. He made a difference. He was someone we should all aspire to emulate. We can't all be Ted Kennedy, but we can make the world a better place by embracing something greater than ourselves. Maria Shiver was on Meet the Press today and talked about her uncle. He had an incredible life.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Summer

The summer is here and I have been keeping busy. I continue to work on my four blogs and am learning a great deal about social media. I am also volunteering time at a cultural arts non-profit organization and a political campaign. I'm also reflecting on what path I want to take in regards to my working career and am trying to find ways to incorporate this time off into my next full-time job. It's a tough time economically. New stats are out showing a 9.5 percent unemployment rate and the recession may last a few more months before there are signs of a solid recovery. I"ll continue to have faith that the right job will come along. For now, I'll continue creating my own brand online and using new media to express my creative side. I have been thinking about writing a memoir for several years now, and now may be an excellent time to seriously begin this personal endeavor.

Sonia Sotomayor

A young girl is raised in a Bronx housing project by poor dedicated parents who tell her she can be anything she wants when she grows up. It happens all over the United States. Parents of every background face challenges they must overcome and only hope the best for their bright-eyed, curious children. Some of us are raised with the idea that race is not an issue, but for sadly, sometimes it becomes one. The same young girl now a young woman goes off to Princeton and feels out of place in a world she knows little. She hangs in there, makes friends, finds out where she belongs, and thrives to complete her studies and than goes off to another elite school for her law degree. She continues on her fantastic journey, joining groups like the Puerto Rican Bar Association and claiming her cultural background as an asset along the way. Then, as life has it, the universal spotlight is on her great achievements and the future good she may do for a greater legal purpose. Now the hard working and brilliant woman is called a racist because she believes these particular struggles in life sometimes create a person able to see clearer then those who may not have had such obstacles. Is she racist? I think it is sad. I have known of Judge Sonia Sotomayor since 2005 when her name was floating out there as a possible Supreme Court Justice. Judge Samuel Alito was honored with the seat, but since then I have hoped for the time when the country would proudly honor Judge Sotomayor's journey. Her appointment and hopefully future confirmation to the U.S. Supreme Court illustrates the American story that built this country. It's the right time and she's the right person. She has earned her place in history.

Cross Road

Life has its way of keeping it interesting. The only thing truly constant is change and right now I have an opportunity to create a new path. It's an exciting and anxious time. The energy is vibrant and keeps my mind engaged in deep thought. Many new directions are present and I look forward to the revealing journey. All in due time is my motto now. There is no rush. The clear way will present itself as I keep looking.

Natasha Richardson

Natasha Richardson’s sudden death last week reminds us all of life’s fragile and fleeting nature. A seemingly innocent fall ends a life and makes us think of our mortality. I have had my share of falls in my lifetime and thankfully I am still physically here. It makes me wonder I could have been gone long ago. There is no way to really explain fatal freak accidents. Richardson’s death echoes the theme of this blog: Life is short and uncertain. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Enjoy your life and do what makes you happy. Be grateful for every day. Find peace with where you are in your journey, and appreciate the special people in your life.

Drama

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about why certain people cause a great deal of drama in their lives. What I mean is that some people like to argue a great deal, make small issues major ones, and overall must have some type of crisis or problem they feel a need to focus upon. I have always been a pretty laid back kind of guy. Life is too short to get all charged-up about things we have little control over. Some people need this type of negative drama to feel alive or noticed by others. The key is to accept things as they are, especially things we have no control over. Getting upset about a large number of things is unhealthy, spiritually. Peace and serenity is good for our souls. Sometimes silence helps us go a long way.

Destiny?

Is our life drawn out for us ahead of time or do we have control over where we end up? If you let go of trying to control every thing in your life, do you end up where you were suppose to all along? Or does every decision you make put you in a different place? I wonder if my life is predestined no matter what I do or can I create the life I want and deserve? Or am I living the life I was brought here to live? I just had a birthday and have been thinking a great deal about where I am in my life. Sometimes I feel like life should be more than it is, and other times I know I am just where I need to be. Sometimes I stress myself out wondering too much about it all. I know I just have to have faith in a higher power and believe the universe has had and continues to have a plan for me. I may not know exactly what it is, but I have to believe I have had a purpose here and will continue to have one until my journey here on Earth is over.